Is it just me, or are bidets having a moment? Maybe it's because I got one for my toilet.
I know, you're shocked. Scandalized even. I work for a toilet paper company and still spent money on a bidet. It was just some market research… sort of.
To be totally candid, I bought a bidet after about 2 glasses of wine. Or maybe it was 4. I don't remember, quarantining was hard. I just wanted to get to the bottom (yes, I said it) of the whole bidet situation. You see, whenever people learn I work for an eco-friendly toilet paper company, they say one of two things:
1. I bet you're worried about the rise of bidets. They're amazing!
2. I bet you're not worried about the rise of bidets. They're freaky!
Ok, maybe not exactly, but that's the gist. The truth is, I'd never really thought about bidets, let alone worried about them. I once made a sorry attempt at using one in Italy, but that's about it. So I did it. I bought a bidet. And guess what? I like it! It saves me about 35 seconds daily if I eat enough vegetables.
What is a bidet?
Once upon a time, a long time ago, there wasn't toilet paper, but there was the bidet — a device that shoots water to clean you up after you go to the loo.
Cue the shocked gasp.
Yep, the bidet was invented before toilet paper. And it was much more user-friendly than the corn-on-the-cob alternative (I still don't get that one).
I mean, it's a gentle shower for your nether regions—or maybe a hose jet, you be the judge of that one.
What are the pros of a bidet?
Bidets offer a handful of benefits that enhance the post #2 experience. The following advantages make bidets a popular choice for some households.
Eco-friendly
Less toilet paper means cutting down fewer trees. Yet, bamboo toilet paper (and recycled toilet paper) is an excellent alternative for loo roll lovers, and I know a place — wink, wink.
Cleaner hands
Bidets keep your hands cleaner. The water spray does most of the work, so your hands don't have to get as involved. Of course, that doesn't mean you get to skip the post-loo hand wash.
Gentle on the skin
Bidets give your skin a gentle, refreshing cleanse that toilet paper just can't match. Say goodbye to the scratchy irritation from rough TP. With a bidet, you get a soothing water spray that's perfect for keeping things comfortable, especially if you have sensitive skin.
A spa where you don’t have to tip
Every time you use the powder room, you get VIP treatment. It's basically a mini spa day in the comfort of your home. Dry cleaning makes sense for some fabrics, but it might not be your choice for post-bathroom cleanliness.
What are the cons of a bidet?
Bidets aren’t all fun and games — they have their own challenges. Understanding the drawbacks is important as you navigate the best tools for bathroom care.
Fear factor
When you gotta go, you gotta GO. There's nothing fun about figuring out a new piece of equipment while the clock is ticking. Bidet newbies worry about making messes or breaking the bidet, adding to the stress of an already urgent situation.
More surfaces to clean
Bidets add extra components to your loo, meaning more spots to scrub. Think of it as doubling your bathroom cleaning duties — yay?
Potential leaks
A leaky bidet can turn your bathroom into an unintended water park, where the main attraction is definitely not what you had in mind for your morning routine.
Plus, all those fancy features can lead to more frequent repairs and maintenance, adding to the overall cost and hassle.
Hard to conceal
Bidets can be tricky to hide. Those hoses and attachments have a way of staying in plain sight, making it tough to maintain a sleek and minimalist look in your bathroom. If you're all about that clean, uncluttered aesthetic, fitting a bidet into your decor can feel like trying to mix oil and water. Those visible parts just don’t blend in smoothly with the rest of your fixtures, messing with the vibe you're aiming for.
Installation and maintenance hassles
Installing a bidet can be quite complicated. It's not the easiest weekend DIY project unless you enjoy working with plumbing and water lines! You might need pro help, which adds to the overall cost.
What are the most commonly asked questions about bidets?
Alright, let's dive into the most frequently asked bidet questions. Let's flush out the facts and get the conversation flowing.
So, does it feel gross?
No, I don’t think so. The nozzle on my bidet is very, um, pointed. It’s a strong flow of water – think of it like a power wash. I think it might be grosser if it was a light dribble that you sort of had to hover over, but that’s not the case with most bidets. If you like the feeling of wet wipes (which are terrible for the planet), you’d probably appreciate a bidet.
Do people who own bidets still use toilet paper?
Even bidet owners keep toilet paper on hand. Drying off after the spray often requires a bit of TP, and your house guests might not be so keen on giving it a go.
I feel like that’s the big secret of this whole TP vs. bidet debate. You still need toilet paper with a bidet. Otherwise, you’ll have what, as they say on The Great British Bake Off, a very soggy bottom. I suppose you could also pat your bum dry with a towel, but that sounds like a recipe for many loads of laundry. Also, I wipe when I wee. I know that’s a lot of information, but it’s highly relevant (especially if you have a small bladder).
Will I use less toilet paper?
But back to the big question – do I use less TP with a bidet? Probably a bit. Is it enough of a difference to really have an effect on the environment? Probably not – especially since I love Who Gives A Crap’s recycle.
Is it better for the environment?
If a bidet is helping you reduce your use of supermarket toilet paper, then it’s definitely a good thing. Not only do most regular rolls come from cutting down trees (more than 1 million per day!), but the process of turning those trees into paper is extremely intensive. It takes a LOT of water and energy to turn a tree into a pulp that can dry into loo roll. It’s a whole lot easier to turn paper into pulp, which is exactly how we make our recycled rolls.
When is toilet paper better than a bidet?
Let's face it: some things never go out of style (like bell-bottom jeans, apparently). Toilet paper is a tried-and-true companion that has weathered the ages and countless situations.
Need a quick cleanup without fuss? Toilet paper has your backside covered. Packing light for a trip? A paper roll slips neatly into any bag or pocket, unlike a portable bidet – good luck squeezing that into your carry-on.
Toilet paper offers a routine as reliable as your morning coffee – no learning curve required. And don't get me started on emergencies. When the water stops flowing, toilet paper doesn't. A bidet without water pressure isn’t cleaning anything.
Conclusion: the bidet vs TP verdict is…
Bidets bring a touch of luxury to the bathroom experience, offering a cleanse that feels like a mini spa session for your bum. They're celebrated for their eco-friendly approach.
But they have their quirks. Once you get past the installation and the learning curve, you have the extra cleaning to keep them running smoothly. Plus, you’ll still need something to dry with.
There's no denying the simple efficiency of good old toilet paper. It's easy to use, requires no setup or power and fits snugly in any bathroom – perfect for quick and familiar cleanup without the splashy hubbub.
I like using my bidet and premium loo paper together, but that’s just personal preference.
The bottom line (whoops, did it again) is that as long as you’re not destroying forests to wipe your bum, you’re doing pretty well for yourself and Mama Earth. Both bidets and Who Gives A Crap toilet paper are great options to help you do that.