Talking Crap

View Original

Which celebrity bathroom are you?

It’s no secret the bathroom is one of our favourite places. It’s where we think our happy (and crappy) thoughts, store toilet paper and it’s also the place where our favourite celebrities wee. That’s right, even the queen does it – Meryl Streep.

Judging by some of our favourite celebrities' bathrooms, it’s one of their favourite places too. Bold chandeliers, open fire places and elaborate sound systems. We’re patiently waiting for our invite to their potty party.


If you had to describe your interior decor style, it would be:

A. Organic
B. Traditional
C. Rustic
D. Modern Art Deco
E. Luxury

You’re going on vacation – woohoo! Where are you off to?
A. Morocco
B. Rome
C. New Zealand
D. Paris
E. New York City

If you were a house plant, which plant would you be?
A. Cactus
B. Fiddle Leaf Fig
C. Snake Plant
D. Devil’s Ivy
E. Bird of Paradise

It’s date night. Or date day. What are you doing?
A. Going to a cooking class.
B. Couples massage followed by a trip to the steam room.
C. Get out the spandex (and orthotics), it’s time for a hike.
D. Might check out that new bar. And then that museum, which has a bar.
E. A very fancy event with people in formalwear and endless canapes.

What’s your favourite rom com?
A. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
B. Bridget Jones’s Diary
C. 500 Days Of Summer
D. High Fidelity
E. Crazy Rich Asians

What’s your drink of choice?
A. Tequila and Lime
B. Pinot Noir
C. Whisky
D. Jager
E. Martini

Now your other drink of choice?
A. Turkish Coffee
B. Peppermint Tea
C. Kombucha
D. Soda
E. Seltzer

If you were a type of bread, which type of bread would you be?
A. Flatbread
B. Baguette
C. Sourdough
D. Bagel
E. Brioche


Mostly As: Will Smith’s Calabasas Sanctuary

You know your turmeric from your paprika from your cumin – and which dish needs what. You read. A lot. When we have a philosophical question, you’re usually the person we go to. Like why are we all here? What’s our purpose? Do bees have emotions? You sure do, and even better, you know how to regulate them. You’re likely a therapist, therapised or both.


Mostly Bs: Angelina Jolie’s Los Angeles Parlour

You like the finer things. You’ve held your pinky up when you sipped tea, on more than one occasion. You know the difference between “austere” and “velvety” wines. Your skincare routine is more than ten steps and you always look elegant walking down stairs in heels. What’s the secret?


Mostly Cs: Cindy Crawford’s Malibu Chambers

You’re cool as a cucumber, with a side of adventure. You can pitch a tent all by yourself and you’ve never burnt a marshmallow in your life. But you’ll still take glamping over camping any day. It’s okay to admit it – spiders are freaky. Supportive and encouraging, every conversation with you feels like a warm hug. Speaking of, we could use one of those right now.


Mostly Ds: Drake’s Toronto Facilities

You’re a little unpredictable but you’re always down for a good time. Drinks are on you, usually. You’ve invested in cryptocurrency and have a very impressive portfolio. Speaking of, can someone please explain cryptocurrency to us again?


Mostly Es: Jennifer Lopez’s New York City Quarters 

Hey, fancy pants. Your clothes are always pressed and you smell exceptionally clean. You’re either a lawyer or a big time magazine editor. We voted for you for class president. Our mums are so proud of you.