These are wild times. The world is out of toilet paper, hand sanitiser is worth your weight in gold, and the news has reached height stressfulness. I’m a nervous wreck in even the most docile of circumstances. All of this panic buying has put me in a, well, panic.

To help us all, I tested the internet’s top tips for combatting stress. Some of them were delightful, others we’re just cold. I’ve put an asterisk (tiny star) next to the ones that I particularly liked. I’ve also included some links for the ones that I didn’t care for. After all, one person’s trash is another person’s sedative.

Are there any tips that I missed? For the love of serenity, please share them in the comments below.

1. Essential oils*

Off to a great start! Closing my eyes and sniffing some lavender oil was immediately soothing. But then I remembered that one time in grade 5 I called my teacher “dad” and my anxiety was back immediately. Still, the calm was nice while it lasted.

2. Knitting 

This might help with anxiety if you know how to knit. I don’t, so this was extremely frustrating and brought up a lot of feelings of inadequacy.

3. Meditation

OK, I know this is weird but meditating makes me have to go to the bathroom. And, as we know, this is no time to waste loo roll. If this isn’t a problem that you have, tonnes of people on our team love 1 Giant Mind.

4. Weighted blanket*

Oh my god. You need one of these. I don’t even care if you struggle with anxiety. I borrowed one from a friend and fell asleep within 5 minutes. It was 8 pm and I didn’t wake up until morning. Honestly, I’m never going back – even if it means stuffing my duvet with dumbbells.

5. Count things

More than one source suggested picking random things to count in order to soothe anxiety. It was boring. And I kept losing count.

6. 4/7/8 breathing

So this is when you inhale for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts and then exhale for 8. I get the idea of focusing on your breath, but this just made me light-headed.

7. Exercise*

Honestly, I’m so angry about how well exercise works. It was the most effective thing I tried (but also the most sweaty).

8. Play with slime*

I was totally ready to hate slime. I wanted to hate slime. But here’s the thing – when you stick your fingers in the jar, it sounds like a really juicy fart. It made me laugh hysterically for the better part of 20 minutes. Truly, a joyful time.

9. Sit in the sun

I like the idea of this because it makes me feel like I’m a little plant who needs to photosynthesise. How cute! In reality, it was nice for about ten minutes. I felt the warmth, the breeze, etc. But then I got sweaty and squinty and remembered how melanoma runs in my family.

10. Drink a hot beverage

The first sip was pleasant. I liked the feeling of tea running through my chest. But then it got a little “meh” and I think I burnt my tongue.

11. Watch ASMR

Have you heard of these videos where people make really quiet, repetitive sounds? It’s stuff like tapping fingernails, chewing or erasing pencil marks. Gentle touches and whispers make me wildly uncomfortable, so I am certainly not the target demographic for these videos.

12. Put your hands in an ice bath

This was painful, aka the opposite of relaxing.

13. Write in a gratitude journal*

I wrote down 33 things that I’m grateful for (everything from a supportive boss to gummy vitamins) and it was incredibly calming. The only downside was that I nearly started crying out of sheer gratitude. But I’m a crier, so don’t let that deter you from giving this a try.

14. Pet an animal*

My dog loved this tip. It was actually really grounding – I highly recommend. To be clear though, the animal you pet should belong to you or someone you know. Don’t just grab a pigeon on the street.