You’ve got more shirts with stains on them than shirts without stains. You’ve stubbed your toe more times than you can count. You find yourself tripping up stairs as much (or more) than tripping down them. Or on no stairs at all. You’ve broken at least one glass this month.
Did we just perfectly describe you? Butter fingers of the world, unite! There’s a whole world out there, filled with inventions made just for us. But before you start reading, go ahead and move that glass of water away from your keyboard. I’ll wait.
Knee pads
Safety first, kiddos and big kiddos alike. Whether you’re riding a bike for the first time, or dusting off your rollerblades from the 90s to take for a spin (#trending!), knee pads and elbow pads will be there to save the day. Or maybe just your skin.
Nail varnish remover
If you’re right-handed, painting your right hand is a sport (requiring training). Vice versa if you’re left-handed. Acetone is an essential for clumsy fingers that want a little colour on their tips. Does an equally fantastic job at removing stains from shoes, smooth minor scratches on jewellery and permanent marker from, well, anything. Which you’ll probably come across too.
Aprons
Ok, so their primary purpose probably isn’t to support clumsy folk. But it sure does a great job of it, regardless! Painting, baking, washing up or getting handsy with clay? It’ll keep your clothes clean and dry. But you should definitely wear something old and already stained underneath to begin with. Or, dare we say, nothing at all.
Flameless candles
Equally as romantic as regular candles, with none of the occupational health and safety hazards attached. Added bonus of lasting up to 100,000 hours! All you need to do is occasionally change the battery. However, it won’t cover up the scent of last night’s burrito (in the kitchen or in the bathroom).
Shoes
Always stubbing your toes? Other than aggressively bubble wrapping every surface at foot level in your house, shoes are the next best thing to protect your twinkle toes. Or even slippers, if you don’t want to wear Blundstones around the house. Wear shoes to dinner, to bed, in the shower, anywhere, everywhere!
Velcro
Those darn laces. They’re always getting in the way. If only there was a way to wear said shoes above, without the added risk of tripping. Enter velcro! Velcro straps on shoes are a dream come true for self-appointed klutzes. No loose laces, less chances of tripping! Now just steer clear of stairs, cobblestones, and dramatic inclines too.
Stemless wine glasses
You like wine, but you like white clothes and clean carpets more. Stemless wine glasses are made for you, my friend. They’re one of those inventions that not only help clumsy people, but get bonus points for looking very stylish on your dining table too.
Paper towels
We couldn’t make a list of things for clumsy people and not include our favourite Bamboo Blend Paper Towels. Wine spills, pasta sauce drips, grubby benchtops, grubby children – you name it, it’ll clean it. History tells us that paper towels were invented for the purpose of drying hands without spreading germs, but we reckon that 1907 folk were just as clumsy as we are today.
All this talk of paper towels remind you that it’s time to restock your kitchen cabinets? Same. Head this way to top up, or subscribe and never miss another wine spill again.