I should probably mention that I’m a roll of Who Gives A Crap toilet paper. Yes, some of us dabble in blogging.

People often ask me my thoughts on wet wipes (we went to high school together). I don’t love to gossip, but I thought I’d share a transcript from our recent game of “Never Have I Ever.” It’s pretty juicy!

Never have I ever…

…sported non-woven fibers

Wet wipes often feel cloth-like because they’re made of non-woven fibers, like spunlace, which don’t break down easily. Synthetic materials like polyester and polypropylene are common in wet wipes— ick.

…taken over 100 years to decompose

While toilet paper, like me, is biodegradable and dissolves in water, wet wipes’ artificial yuckiness won’t just go away. Their spunlace and other non-wovens can take over a century to decompose— sorry 2120!

…created a 140 tonne clog in a city sewer system

140 tons is as heavy as 20 elephants, 200 cows, or 1,500 kangaroos! These massive sewer blockages are mostly wet wipes. Known as fatbergs (also the name of my neighbor’s cat), these clogs are forming worldwide.

…left anyone with a wet bum

Ever wondered what makes wipes... wet? They’re usually soaked with harsh chemicals (like methylisothiazolinone) that can irritate the skin or in some cases, cause allergic reactions. Who likes a rashy bum?

…lied about flushability

Despite what labels say, wet wipes aren’t actually flushable. Flushability tests use unrealistic turbulence and pressure to break down wipes, but real-world conditions don’t compare. So yes, it’ll flush — but it’ll clog. Remember fatbergs?

Conclusion: Make the clean choice

So my thoughts on wet wipes? They won’t be coming to another slumber party. It’s wild how popular they are, given their negative impact on the environment, sanitation systems, and — let’s be honest — on your bum. Meanwhile, I’m crafted from 100% recycled fibers, break down easily, and offer all the comfort you need. Convinced? Thought so. Check out our rolls and make holiday gifting a breeze!