Getting over your commitment issues with a toilet paper subscription
So, you’ve got commitment issues. You passionately research every restaurant within a 5 kilometre radius to find the one with the best reviews before making a booking. You’ve had the same pair of jeans sitting in your online cart for weeks. You still buy one off toilet paper rolls.
Unlike ill-fitting denim, a toilet paper subscription doesn’t have to be scary. It’s convenient, easy to set up and affordable. Consider us your new friend with benefits.
Benefit 1: Never get caught with your pants down
Ever made a 10 pm dash to your supermarket when you’re down to your last roll? Or called for backup when you realise you’re out mid-poo? When you subscribe, you tell us the number of people in your house, and we’ll recommend how often your toilet paper should be delivered. You’ll never have to go to a supermarket for TP ever again.
Benefit 2: No strings attached
Signing up with us is the most commitment-free commitment there is. This isn’t a proposal. Toilet paper doesn’t even have knees. You can cancel at any time. Like while you’re sitting on the toilet. Convenient, huh?
Benefit 3: Go at your own pace
Three weeks before your toilet paper is due to ship, we’ll send an email to notify you. That should give you plenty of time to decide if you’re ready or not. Still working through your last 20 rolls? Hit pause, then start again at any time. Although if you ask us (you didn’t), you can never have too much toilet paper on hand.
Benefit 4: Help is always here
Our team is here to answer all of your questions, from, “What does eco-friendly mean?” to “Should I reply to that suspicious looking Instagram DM?” We’re especially good at knowing exactly how much toilet paper you should order. And no, don’t respond to that Nigerian prince.
Benefit 5: But we’re also for the strong independent wipers
Need help but don’t like asking for it? We’ve thought of you too. You can manage your subscription, products, delivery schedule, and any changes through your very own online account. Never talk to another person ever again!
Benefit 6: Guaranteed satisfaction
Not totally happy with your new loo roll? While we’re pretty confident you’re going to love it, we offer a 100% money back guarantee. Because sometimes sheet happens.
Still have commitment issues? It’s your lucky day. Those who read blogs all the way to the bottom (hehe bottom) get rewarded. Take $10 off your first subscription order with the code TP4EVA at checkout. Neat!
